Monday, December 1, 2008

Garrett will be running a marathon!!!!

My good buddy, Garrett Fahrmann, the Senior VP of Operations will be running a half-marathon to raise money for the Junior Grizzlies.

Personally, 13.1 miles is about 13.09 miles too far to run. But then again, I'm a fat lazy bear.

Go figure.

Check out his blog here....

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Promotion of the Year!!!!

I was just voted as having the promotion of the year, when the Phillie Phanatic came to town. Thank you to everyone who voted!

Read about it here:

09/25/2008 10:00 AM ET
Mascot Showdown snags Promotion of Year
Fresno's duel between Parker, Phillie Phanatic trounces competition

The Phillie Phanatic took down Parker, but the rest of the Minors couldn't top him. (Don Davis)

In the fan voting for's Minor League Promotion of the Year, what started out as a taut back-and-forth battle slowly morphed into a blowout.

Ten teams were nominated for the honor, and from this golden slate emerged two clubs from the Golden State -- the Fresno Grizzlies and the Lancaster JetHawks. After spending several days in a virtual tie, the Grizzlies' Mascot Showdown garnered a substantial lead en route to establishing its promo supremacy over all contenders.

By the time the polls closed at noon Wednesday, 9,149 votes had been cast in this hotly contested battle. The JetHawks' Skateboard Giveaway logged an impressive 23 percent of this total, but that paled in comparison to the Grizzlies. The "Mascot Showdown" accumulated 4,739 votes -- more than all of the other nine nominated teams combined.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and costumed characters of all shapes, sizes, and dispositions -- the Mascot Showdown is officially the best promotion of 2008!

For those who may still be unaware, the Mascot Showdown pitted the Grizzlies' mascot, Parker, against the legendary Phillie Phanatic in a battle for costumed character supremacy. Over the course of nine innings, the two combatants turned Chukchansi Park's laugh-o-meter up to 11 as they spilled popcorn, shined bald heads, seduced umpires and engaged in death-defying (or at least mild bruise-defying) ATV stunts. In the evening's final event, each mascot had to cross the Balance Beam of Greatness in order to be awarded the title of "Best Mascot in Baseball." The Phanatic did so successfully, and then all eyes were on Parker. The cuddly Grizzly made it half way across before being distracted by the Phanatic, who flashed him.

Therefore, the Phanatic retained his title as "The Best Mascot in Baseball." But Parker served notice that he was ready to compete with the big boys, a fact that is even more apparent now that the Showdown has been named the "Promotion of the Year." According to Scott Carter, the Grizzlies' vice president of marketing, this was all part of the plan.

"Reason No. 1 for doing this promotion was to entertain people, but reason 1A was to elevate Parker. Not just on a local level but also around the country," Carter said. "We want everyone to realize that Fresno's mascot is really good. He was put in the same breath as the Phanatic and really gave him a run for his money.

"One of the best aspects of the Showdown was that the fans got really into it. When we announced at the end of the night that the Phanatic was still the best mascot, everybody started booing. And when the Phanatic handed the award to Parker in order stop the booing, the place went nuts. There were six or seven games left in the season when we did this, and instantly Parker's status was elevated at the ballpark. It took the presence of the Phanatic to make everyone aware of how good Parker is."

Top 10 Promotions of 2008
Vote %
Mascot showdown
Skateboard giveaway
Tattoo Night
Spyder Webb's car
100 promotions
Spam carving
Rozema bobble-leg
First pitch record
Pillow fight record
Mustache awareness

This increased notoriety will lead to a busy offseason for Parker, as he'll travel throughout the Fresno area in order to spread the gospel of Grizzlies baseball.

"We want to make him the most ubiquitous face in the central valley of California," Carter said. "That's a lot of ground to cover, but he'll do whatever it takes to get people excited about the Grizzlies."

If the vast hordes of Fresno fans who voted in the "Promotion of the Year" poll are any indication, then people are already excited about the Grizzlies. It also helped that the club got a significant assist from the local media.

"The day that we were nominated, we were scheduled to appear on one of Fresno's most popular morning shows in order to show the first episode of 'I Hate the Offseason' [the Grizzlies new weekly web series]," explained Carter. "We mentioned being nominated for Promotion of the Year, and that became one of the central talking points of our segment. We also had our radio and TV affiliates pumping it up, and sent out several email blasts. When it comes to Minor League promotions there is just an insane amount of creativity from all parts of the country, so it is awesome to get this kind of recognition."

But of course, that recognition wouldn't have came about had it not been for the formidable comedy chops of the iconic Phanatic and the up-and-coming Parker. While Parker is not blessed with the gift of speech, he did take the time to compose an eloquent email statement regarding his most impressive accomplishment.

"Winning Promotion of the Year has capped off an incredible 2008 season for me," he wrote. "I'd truly like to thank the fans of the Fresno Grizzlies who voted in massive numbers, showing their support for this big yellow bear who has risen to infamy as the Best Mascot in Minor League Baseball."

Benjamin Hill is a contributor to This story was not subject to the approval of the National Association of Professional Baseball Leagues or its clubs.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Please Vote for Me having the Best Promotion in 2008


Guess what?
I've been nominated as having the best promo of 2008 when I took on the Phillie Phanatic!

Vote for me here!

To vote yours truly as having the Best Promo in all of Minor League Baseball!

Monday, September 8, 2008

2008 Highlights!

My good friend Krista Boyd helped me put together a video showcasing my awesomeness this year....


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Parker vs. Phanatic Recap

I don't feel like typing much...

So here is Benjamin Hill's recap of Parker vs. The Phillie Phanatic!


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Phanatic, Andruw Jones and Dinger

What do these three characters have in common?

All have been visitors to my home here at Chukchansi Park and only one of them has been a welcome guest! Obviously, my welcomed guest was the legendary Phillie Phanatic.

The game on Aug. 16th with the Phanatic was a dream come true for me! On the same field as the guy who pioneered the mascot business, pinch me now! If you were lucky enough to have gone to the game, you saw the Phanatic retain his title as best mascot in baseball by being able to finish the Balance Beam of Greatness, while I failed once again to cross it.

For Andruw Jones and Dinger (who should be coming here on the 23rd), these two weren't welcomed guests and let's all be clear I despise both of them, Dodgers and Rivercat.

Make sure to come out on the 23rd as Dinger gets shown some true Fresno hospitality!

Parker out.

Friday, August 8, 2008

One Week Until the Phillie Phanatic arrives in Phresno!

I have so much work to do before the Phanatic gets into town!
It's not everyday that the pioneer for sports mascots comes to Fresno.

I still need to write the script, plan some pranks on him and figure out how I'm going to upstage the greatest mascot of all-time!

Even though Saturday will be fun and games for everyone who comes to The Chuk, I will be soaking in as much information from the big-green guy as I possibly can!

Can't wait!


Monday, July 21, 2008

My Office is a Mess

Here is a quick summary of my office...

On my desk.

- Candy Jar
- Holiday Pools Squirt Buggy Keys
- Parker's Pickup Keys
- Scorcher's Tundra Keys
- My cold medicine
- Ipod
- Sunglasses
- Computer, Phone, Speakers, Stapler, Tape Dispenser, Papers, Business Cards, Post-It Notes, Scissors, Two-way Radio, Tennis Ball, Phone Extensions and Play-Doh.

Everywhere else.

- Towels, T-Shirts, Underwear, Magazines, Febreze, Refrigerator, Bottled Water, Gatorade, Crutches, Bobbleheads, Toiletries, Silly String, Couch, Microwave, TV, Cooler, Scale, Skydiving Harness, Squirt Gun, Toilet Seat, Autograph Cards, Banners, Little Kids Pictures, Repair Kit and of course, my air mattress.

This is a normal office right???

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Ball Girl Video @ The Chuk

Many of you may have seen the viral video Ball Girl here at Chukchansi Park.

In case you were wondering...of course it's real!

It was the most amazing catch I've ever seen!!!

Also...Congrats Fresno State CWS Champs.

Parker Out.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Tampa Bay Recap


What a weekend!

My last post was Friday night, so let me recap my happenings all the way up until I got back into Fresno.

Saturday, June 21st.
  • Slept in until 12:30
  • Ate at Panera for Lunch
  • Headed to Tropicana Field for Game 2 of the Rays vs. Astros
  • Watched the game with Ace from the Toronto Blue Jays and Stanley of the Florida Panthers, the Rays won in a walk-off hit in the bottom of the 9th. It was awesome!
  • Post-game, since it was 80's night, they had a Kool & The Gang Concert and we got to hang out in Tampa Bay's dugout and watch the show. Troy Percival and his lady-friend kept giving me looks for taking pictures of myself in the dugout....what's so weird about that?
  • After Kool and the Gang was over we headed back to the hotel and Albert and Alberta from UofFlorida showed up as well as TD from the Miami Dolphins, we kicked it for a while and then when to bed.

Sunday, June 22nd - The Big Day

  • Stanley from the Florida Panthers drove me to Tropicana Field and we headed beneath the Concourse and were shown are VIP Dressing Room, I think VIP means Very Idiotic Parker.
  • Anyway, we're all suited up and ready to go in the Tunnel and the announcer reads "A Bear with Flare, all the way from Fresno, CA, give it up for the 2007 Mascot of the Year, PARKER!!!.....I run out from behind home plate ready to make my big debut and guess what. I fell flat on my face, how embarrassing.
  • We all had a good time on the field pre-game and I was clearly the most-talented out there :).
  • We all sang Raymond happy birthday and headed back to the dressing room.
  • 3rd Inning - T-Shirt Toss time, I got up on the Rays dugout and threw my t-shirt and dropped some knowledge by doing the worm.
  • 8th Inning - Raymond, Lou Seal and I headed up on top of the Astros dugout and had a little dance off...when I refused to get off the dugout, Lou Seal unfortunately ripped off my clothes and I ran away in shame of being in front of 30,000 people in my tighty whities!!!
  • Post-game was Kids Run the Bases, Stuff and I from the Orlando Magic chased the kids, TD from the Dolphins stole a golf cart, Albert and Alberta took hundreds of pics with all the crazy southern college football fans.
  • Post-post game - We all met up for Dinner at a Tapas restaurant and had an incredible meal, I had Frog Legs for the first time.
  • Post-Dinner - We headed out for a bit of fun and guess who Parker sees sitting at the bar ordering some food? Gary Sheffield of the Detroit Tigers, needless to say it was the capper to an amazing day.

Monday, June 23rd

  • Let's just say I had a hard time waking up on Monday morning. My flight left at 9:25. I woke up at 7:45 and hadn't packed yet. I threw all my stuff in my luggage, got to the Ray's Hummer at 8:00 and then headed to the airport.
  • However, there was a traffic jam and I didn't get to the airport until 8:50, approximately 2 minutes before the cut-off time for luggage. I pleaded my case to the curbside check in guy and threw him a $20 and he hooked me up. (Turns out he was from Visalia)
  • Barely made my plane and had a rough flight from Tampa to Atlanta.
  • Next was Atlantic to Salt Lake City, my Ipod died and forced me to sleep.
  • Salt Lake City to Fresno.
  • What a weekend!

Hopefully I get to do it again next year!

Your MLB tested mascot,


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Where in the World is Parker?

Guess where I am right now?

Sitting in my awesome hotel room in Tampa, Florida.

That's right, Florida!

Apparently the Tampa Bay Rays have seen my work and thought I was worthy of coming to their mascot, Raymond's, Birthday Party. The party is on Sunday, June 22nd, so I have all day today to spend in Tampa.

So why am I plogging on my off day in Florida?.....IT'S RAINING and I can't go outside and play!

Also, it was a late night last night.....HAHAHA

Here are a few of the highlights from my trip so far....
  • Raymond picked me up in the Ray's custom Hummer from the Airport and took me to the hotel to drop off my bags.
  • We met up with Ace, the Blue Jays mascot and headed over to Tropicana Field to catch the Rays play the Astros
  • Houston won the game 4-3, I think.
  • It was weird seeing a game in a dome and even weirder was everyone was hitting cowbells all game long.
  • Highlight of the night was seeing a skinny Ray's fan nearly get in a fight with a big, husky Red Sox was oddly amusing.
  • After the game we headed back to the Airport in the Hummer to pick up Lou Seal of the Giants.
  • Late last night, realizing we were in the South, Lou Seal, Ace, Raymond and myself decided to hit up a Waffle House. UMMMMMMM....Waffle House.
Going to another game tonight, so it should be fun. I hope to post some pics soon.

Also, I almost forgot, I went to Sacramento on Thursday night and showed Dinger and the Rivercats how a true mascot really works!

Dinger, the worst mascot in Minor League Baseball.

Keeping it real in FLA.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Get your Spooky Costumes Ready for Friday!

The greatest Friday promotion, ever, Friday the 13th will be taking place at The Chuk this Friday....I have my costume you?

See you on Friday and don't scare me!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

I'm Still #1

It may be Drag Kings Bobbledoll giveaway tonight...

But I intend on doing a skit tonight that will leave no doubt to the fans of the Drag Kings, who the ultimate dancer is tonight at Chukchansi Park.

Get ready to be amazed by my precision timing and passion for dance.

Parker out.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Daniel Newman is always talking trash to me. Who does he think he is? Constantly calling me lazy, boring and "large"....I've had enough! on the lookout. I know what desk you sit at.

If your mouseball goes missing, you have no one to blame but yourself!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Turn the Lights on Please

What a weird day yesterday was.

If you hadn't heard, at 7:00, 5 minutes before the first pitch of the Grizz vs. Salt Lake Bees, the power went out at The Chuk. It was surreal, no music, no lights, nothing.

Being the master performer that I am, I took the field and still put on a show for the ages. I'd like to see any other mascot entertain fans for 45 minutes with no sound!

Here is a brief rundown of the 45 minute No Power Party...

  • The lights in my office went off as I was walking in the door.
  • Grizzlies Manager Dan Rohn yelled at me for trying to start the game anyway (Sorry Dude!)
  • The Umpires didn't find my antics funny.
  • Salt Lake's players tripped me over during a little pepper action
  • Justin Leone kept running his mouth at me during our game of Pepper, then hit a ball at my head
  • I stole KMPH's camera and started filming the fans
  • Visited the fans who were waiting for the game to start

Anyway, let's hope the power stays on tonight.

Parker Out.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Parker dislikes Camera Phones

Let's talk for a brief minute about the worst technological update in the history of cell phones, the camera phone.

I have ZERO mascot counterparts who enjoy these contraptions.

As a mascot who takes close to 200+ pictures on a SLOW night, I feel I have the right to voice my opinion on these terrible picture taking devices......

Here we go:
  • It takes people 2 minutes to figure out how to turn the camera portion on.
  • Adults never know how to use their kids phones.
  • Everybody has one. You used to be able to go to an appearance or walk through a concourse and not have every single person stop and take a picture they'll probably never use.
  • Who actually uses the pictures from their camera anyway?

I really do feel bad for people who miss their opportunity to take a picture with me....I really want everyone to be able to get up close and personal with yours truly. It's just tough when I have to wait so long for people to figure out how to use their phone, I mean camera.

--Parker "The Camera Phone Loving Mascot"

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I woke up in 1987.

It's officially 80's Night and our staff has taken Totally Rad 80's Night to another level.

I walk in this morning and I see our Receptionist DeeAnn in Neon Leggings and a Perm.

Scott Carter with a combover and a neon shirt/sunglass combo.

Jeff Benton with the preppy tennis look.

Shaun Northup with lines in the side of his head.

Brad Collins looking like a creepy Magnum PI.

Becky, the new girl, in full 80's garb with a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Jason Hannold with non-spiky hair for the first time in his life.

I'll post these ridiculous pics soon!

Get your 80's gear on and come out tonight to The Chuk!


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Tuesday Morning

It's Tuesday. Two days away from Totally Rad 80's night and I can't wait to see Billy Zabka.
Rumor on the street is that Billy Z. is too afraid to "Sweep the Leg" of yours truly.

All I'm saying is come Totally Rad 80's Night, Parker is going to be ready for action.

I'm not a blackbelt, but someone stole one for me , if you catch my drift.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Birthday Recap


What a day! I celebrated my B-Day in style in front of the largest Sunday crowd I've ever seen.
Thanks and congrats to all my Wild About Reading Students who read their books and made it out to the game.

Let me give you a recap of my B-Day from my perspective.

  • Timeout from Fresno State showed up 2 hours early. Maybe he didn't know what Time to show up? Get it?
  • Little Caesar burned his hand cooking his $5 pizzas all day and was a no show.
  • Freddie Falcon was late as usual, at least he didn't crash his car this year.
  • When everyone was finally all in one room we went over the party details and what to expect, although no one was paying attention because they were all trying to eat The Delicious One from Weinerschnitzel.
  • Pre-game was awesome, all the mascots came out before me and we rocked out on the field Pre-game.
  • Middle of the 2nd, the entire stadium sang me Happy Birthday!
  • Middle of the 3rd, we tried to do a Mascot Base Race, but the California Raisin tried to cheat and we all took him out, forgetting we had a race.
  • Middle of the 4th, once again we were unsuccessful in a game of Tug of War against 1 kid. How embarrassing!
  • We all took a break afterwards and some of the other mascots took off in time for a late lunch.
  • I came out for the 7th Inning Stretch, visited as many kids as possible during the rest of the game.
  • High-Fived the kids for the Del Taco Run the Bases immediately after the game and then went and signed autographs for 30 minutes at my Playhouse.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I should go home and rest up before tomorrow's 12:05 game.

Happy Birthday to me!


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Going for the Sweep

3 in a row against the I-Cubs, looking to make it 4.

Stay tuned for video and more photos, the intern who has the computer I'm going to steal, has been at their desk non-stop and it's a little hard to sneak up on him when you're as "big-boned" as I am.

More importantly, will I or will I not, pull another streaking stunt tonight?

Come on down to The Chuk to find out!

3 days till my Birthday!!!

-Parker Out.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Cubs are really just baby Grizzlies.

Des Moines vs. Fresno.

I've never been to Iowa. But I'm guessing that it's a lot like California.

Corn vs. Grapes
Tornadoes vs. Smog
Landlocked vs. Pacific Ocean
Cubs vs. Grizzlies

I should have a soft spot in my bear heart for any team that carries my offsprings affiliation, the Cubs. But seeing as how I have no offspring, I will not give these Cubs any slack.

Side Note - Former Grizzlie, Luis Figueroa is now playing for the Iowa Cubs.
Side Note #2 - I finally got my Eye-Q Eyeballs in working order, the red eye was being lazy and not showing up for work, I promised him some more visine and he showed up.

This is a reallly random post, I know, but I'm a bear, cut me some slack.

See you at The Chuk.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Under the Weather

Want to know what happens when you live on a roof of a building for a week and then work an 8-game homestand, followed by 3 appearances on a Saturday?

You get sick.

That's right, even Parker gets a cold every now and then. I went and saw the vet and he told me to get plenty of fluids, rest and honey. In 3 days, I should be 100%! All I know is that I better be healthy by May 4th.

Why May 4th?

It's my birthday, no one likes a sick bear on their birthday!

I'll be posting more pictures soon, but I need to steal a better computer from one of our interns.

-Parker out.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Go Away...Let Me Sleep for the Love of!

I may be new to this whole blog/plog thing, but I'm guessing this is the earliest a mascot has ever posted online. As I'm typing this, it's 5:55 AM. That's right, AM.

See....mascots and bears, don't like getting up early in the morning. It's just nature.

I'm also tired because I stayed at The Chuk a little late last night...Here's why. A Gatorade commercial was being filmed at the stadium last night and I hung around trying to land a spot, but had no success.

It's the last game of the opening homestand, and my prediction tonight is that two teams will play baseball, one will win and I will probably spill something on myself.

I've got two more morning show hits to do here at 6:15 and 6:45, and then it's back to bed for good 'ole Park-dizzle.

Your favorite sleep deprived mascot,


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Make it Rainiers

With the 4 game series coming up against the Tacoma Rainiers, I pose a question to all of you.

Did the city get it's name from the truck or did the truck get it's name from the city?

Speaking of Tacoma, this is the prior stop on the baseball road for my good friend, Dan Rohn. Maybe I should ask him.

If anyone remembers, Parker made his debut against the Tacoma Rainiers and a certain member of the Rainiers (Jose Morban) threw a cup of water in my face for my initial debut. This scuffle led to a hat being taken from Tacoma and run over in the process. Unfortunately he failed to realize that it poured the entire night and I was already soaking so it didn't do much.

For anyone who didn't know, Tacoma is also notorious for having singing sensation Nick Lachey as a minority owner.

Now that's "The Hardest Thing I Ever Had To Type"

Go Grizz. Beat the Lachey's!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Opening Night Recap


Friday, April 11th was the perfect day in the life of a minor league baseball mascot.

Here is a quick recap.

  • I was named Mayor of Fresno for the day at the Vibe event at Sports Town by Mayor Autry
  • On a side note, Mayor Autry took me aside and gave me a talking to for jumping up on the stage and not taking the stairs, apparently he doesn't know about my love of climbing(I am a bear after all!) Anyway, sorry Bubba! Didn't mean to scare you.
  • For my introduction, I was escorted onto the field by two motorcycle cops and three limousines.
  • Grizzlies Manager Dan Rohn punched me in the face after I appointed him "coffee boy" for the new Mayor.
  • Trot Nixon (Former Red Sox Player) spewed a bunch of verbal garbage at me during pre-game introductions
  • I succesfully seduced Jeff, the first base umpire while I was dressed as a girl.
  • Lost to an 8 year old at musical chairs
  • Watched the Drag Kings drop some knowledge
  • Worked the magic of the toilet seat en route to a 5 run 9th Inning walk off win.
  • Oh yea, we had over 13,000 fans.

That was without a doubt, the best game I've ever been a part of.

Drink it in, Fresno.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Exile Island - Day 4

Guess what?

Looks like the Grizzlies, Mayor Autry and all of Fresno is starting to get worried that I'm not coming down. Mayor Autry is so desperate to get me down for the Opening of Sports Town tomorrow, that he has offered to make me Honorary Mayor for the Day. While I sit here and think about this offer, I've been encouraged this week by emails, calls and ticket sales from the Central Valley folks, I was really starting to think that no one cared about this big, chunky, yellow bear.

If I am the honorary mayor for the day tomorrow, guess what? I'm making a couple of changes in the laws. In no particular order here they are....

1. Fresno is renamed to Parkerville.
2. Parking Downtown is free for all Grizzlies games.
3. April 11th is Parker Day in Fresno.
4. Salma Hayek is offered the job of assistant Mayor.
5. Free Popcorn and Hot Dogs to everyone.

That's it for now, I think I see my buddy the hawk.

Bellies, Paws and Fur,


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Welcome to my Plog!

It's Day 3 of my exile at the top of 1060 Fulton (formerly known as the Security Bank Building), and this is my first communication with the Fans of the Fresno Grizzlies.

I'm hoping my stunt will get all of the real fans off their butts and into Chukchansi Park this Friday for Opening Night. After all, Real Fans Go To Opening Day!!!

If I'm not confident that we'll "Pack the Park", guess where I'm watching the game from? Yep, right up here atop 1060 Fulton!

Anyways, here are a few interesting tidbits about my life up here that I thought you might find entertaining.

There is a hawk that lives up here and has swooped at my head numerous times
The hawk eats unsuspecting pigeons and leaves their bones on the ledge
It is really windy
My only visitors have been the construction workers that are building the lofts
Wireless Internet is tough to get 16 stories from the ground
I can hear the Fulton Mall preachers everyday
I do have access to a bathroom, as there are no woods around.
I really hope the Fans "Pack the Park", I'm not sure I can stay up here any longer!
Stay tuned throughout the season to my "PLOG", get it? Parker's Weblog, aka, PLOG!

That's it for today,