Saturday, May 31, 2008

I'm Still #1

It may be Drag Kings Bobbledoll giveaway tonight...

But I intend on doing a skit tonight that will leave no doubt to the fans of the Drag Kings, who the ultimate dancer is tonight at Chukchansi Park.

Get ready to be amazed by my precision timing and passion for dance.

Parker out.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Daniel Newman is always talking trash to me. Who does he think he is? Constantly calling me lazy, boring and "large"....I've had enough! on the lookout. I know what desk you sit at.

If your mouseball goes missing, you have no one to blame but yourself!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Turn the Lights on Please

What a weird day yesterday was.

If you hadn't heard, at 7:00, 5 minutes before the first pitch of the Grizz vs. Salt Lake Bees, the power went out at The Chuk. It was surreal, no music, no lights, nothing.

Being the master performer that I am, I took the field and still put on a show for the ages. I'd like to see any other mascot entertain fans for 45 minutes with no sound!

Here is a brief rundown of the 45 minute No Power Party...

  • The lights in my office went off as I was walking in the door.
  • Grizzlies Manager Dan Rohn yelled at me for trying to start the game anyway (Sorry Dude!)
  • The Umpires didn't find my antics funny.
  • Salt Lake's players tripped me over during a little pepper action
  • Justin Leone kept running his mouth at me during our game of Pepper, then hit a ball at my head
  • I stole KMPH's camera and started filming the fans
  • Visited the fans who were waiting for the game to start

Anyway, let's hope the power stays on tonight.

Parker Out.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Parker dislikes Camera Phones

Let's talk for a brief minute about the worst technological update in the history of cell phones, the camera phone.

I have ZERO mascot counterparts who enjoy these contraptions.

As a mascot who takes close to 200+ pictures on a SLOW night, I feel I have the right to voice my opinion on these terrible picture taking devices......

Here we go:
  • It takes people 2 minutes to figure out how to turn the camera portion on.
  • Adults never know how to use their kids phones.
  • Everybody has one. You used to be able to go to an appearance or walk through a concourse and not have every single person stop and take a picture they'll probably never use.
  • Who actually uses the pictures from their camera anyway?

I really do feel bad for people who miss their opportunity to take a picture with me....I really want everyone to be able to get up close and personal with yours truly. It's just tough when I have to wait so long for people to figure out how to use their phone, I mean camera.

--Parker "The Camera Phone Loving Mascot"

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I woke up in 1987.

It's officially 80's Night and our staff has taken Totally Rad 80's Night to another level.

I walk in this morning and I see our Receptionist DeeAnn in Neon Leggings and a Perm.

Scott Carter with a combover and a neon shirt/sunglass combo.

Jeff Benton with the preppy tennis look.

Shaun Northup with lines in the side of his head.

Brad Collins looking like a creepy Magnum PI.

Becky, the new girl, in full 80's garb with a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Jason Hannold with non-spiky hair for the first time in his life.

I'll post these ridiculous pics soon!

Get your 80's gear on and come out tonight to The Chuk!


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Tuesday Morning

It's Tuesday. Two days away from Totally Rad 80's night and I can't wait to see Billy Zabka.
Rumor on the street is that Billy Z. is too afraid to "Sweep the Leg" of yours truly.

All I'm saying is come Totally Rad 80's Night, Parker is going to be ready for action.

I'm not a blackbelt, but someone stole one for me , if you catch my drift.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Birthday Recap


What a day! I celebrated my B-Day in style in front of the largest Sunday crowd I've ever seen.
Thanks and congrats to all my Wild About Reading Students who read their books and made it out to the game.

Let me give you a recap of my B-Day from my perspective.

  • Timeout from Fresno State showed up 2 hours early. Maybe he didn't know what Time to show up? Get it?
  • Little Caesar burned his hand cooking his $5 pizzas all day and was a no show.
  • Freddie Falcon was late as usual, at least he didn't crash his car this year.
  • When everyone was finally all in one room we went over the party details and what to expect, although no one was paying attention because they were all trying to eat The Delicious One from Weinerschnitzel.
  • Pre-game was awesome, all the mascots came out before me and we rocked out on the field Pre-game.
  • Middle of the 2nd, the entire stadium sang me Happy Birthday!
  • Middle of the 3rd, we tried to do a Mascot Base Race, but the California Raisin tried to cheat and we all took him out, forgetting we had a race.
  • Middle of the 4th, once again we were unsuccessful in a game of Tug of War against 1 kid. How embarrassing!
  • We all took a break afterwards and some of the other mascots took off in time for a late lunch.
  • I came out for the 7th Inning Stretch, visited as many kids as possible during the rest of the game.
  • High-Fived the kids for the Del Taco Run the Bases immediately after the game and then went and signed autographs for 30 minutes at my Playhouse.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I should go home and rest up before tomorrow's 12:05 game.

Happy Birthday to me!


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Going for the Sweep

3 in a row against the I-Cubs, looking to make it 4.

Stay tuned for video and more photos, the intern who has the computer I'm going to steal, has been at their desk non-stop and it's a little hard to sneak up on him when you're as "big-boned" as I am.

More importantly, will I or will I not, pull another streaking stunt tonight?

Come on down to The Chuk to find out!

3 days till my Birthday!!!

-Parker Out.